It has been a long time since I wrote. It has been a hard time.
I have been struggling to write since July. There are or were a lot of reasons. The thing that impacted me the most was the health problems and eventual death of one of my best friends, Shelby. I wrote about her here a couple of times after she went blind.
In July, Shelby's health problems got worse. She wouldn't walk. She wouldn't eat. She was drinking less water. She wasn't sleeping well. We paced and rocked and hugged for hours every night until early morning. She was having a lot of pain and discomfort. I was faced with making a decision that I didn't want to. It took a lot out of me and loaded me with guilt.
I made the decision and on August 20th I took my friend to the vet for the last time. It was a hard day. I miss her still. Even writing this brings me to tears.
I lost my ability to write after that. I also lost my desire to write. I would sit in front of my computer or take one of my notebooks and a pen or my tablet and my stylus and nothing would happen. No words would flow and on one level it didn't bother me on another it was making it harder to write.
This week I broke through. It's not much but the people out there who write or know a writer will understand. I call this poem "The Writer's Crypt".
The Writer's Crypt
Sitting here day in, day out
The word crypt locked
No words flowing
Dark and dismal
Fighting, forcing some words out
Prying the lock open with my pen
The word crypt
Creaking open slowly
From my mind
The long dark, dry spell
The crypt fully open
The words are there
I am writing again
October 15th, 2015
I am a writer.